The Curmudgeon's Home Drinking Activity

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The Curmudgeon's
Home Drinking Activity

DISCLAIMER
Drinking alcohol damages the human body, makes humans do stupid things, and aggitates crustiness.

OBJECTIVES
To fester in confused anger. To increase personal levels of bitterness (useful for social interactions).

RULES
Curmudgeons do not play games. This activity must be undertaken alone. Do not mix drinks. Use only straight vodka, rum, etc.

PROCEDURE
FIRST, prepare some hard booze and find your habitual shot glass.

SECOND, run an appropriate movie. For general misanthropy, war movies are recommended (eg: Saving Private Ryan). For those bitter at heart, try a romantic comedy (eg: Nottinghill).

WHILE the movie is running, drink according to the queues:

You're offended;
Visitors from another world or foreigners conveniently speak English;
The Pepsi label is a little too easy to read, and subtle product placement isn't so subtle;
Using only a hand gun, the good guy wipes out an army of his enemies who have automatic weapons;
A dispensible character on the good guy's team is killed,
and his last worlds were "Let me investigate";

You knew he was going to be killed;

You knew anything was going to happen;

Someone is told to "cheer up," and they do;

The director uses an artsy camera shot to make a point about life;

True love prevails (drink twice),
and they live happily ever after (finish the bottle).